Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
wow bdsm is so cute
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
