Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
COCAINE IS GR8
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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