He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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