im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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