Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
