Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
