good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
