do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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