i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm bleeding and have questions
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
