Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
