i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
