I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
