sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
