I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
this hospital has no fireball
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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