He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
