Got a toothbrush?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
