Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
