I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
