are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's how pantless uber rides happen