____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.