guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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