I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
