So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
