No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
