My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
