I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
