when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
