For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize