if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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