thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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