Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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