wakey wakey hands off snakey
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
