If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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