White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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