Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
