only you would photoshop your dick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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