he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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