Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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