...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
