Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
