you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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