i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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