I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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