Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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