Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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