This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You need Xanax blowdarts
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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