Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
