Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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