he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am mentally ready for anal.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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