Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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