I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
