Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
