If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize