At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
