I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
