Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
