I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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