think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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