My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
