Dual....:-)
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
