so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
