If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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