apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
