What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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