As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
