Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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