the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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